State of Rebellion:
Knowing right from wrong, knowing the structured parterns, knowing the consequences of ones actions; a man still wishes upon himself choices; willingly, wishfully, and joyfully, that can be stupid, harmful or completely idiotic.
It makes me wonder why would a man choice to burn himself, destroy his own property or bring about hardship on himself. What has evolved him into such an illogical creature, or are these actions really logical?
After thorough analysis, I came to an understanding that this might be a way of establishing our right to choose, regardless how harmful or idiotic the decision may seem. To prove to ourselves or the ego that we are in control, and are not some programmed robots that are following sequences of logic commands. In order to do that, we feel the urge to break from normal state of being; to violate the moral engineering of others and the society to feel the freedom of making a choice; to bring about beautiful chaos of humanity, which we think being alive is all about; all to just satisfy our ego that we indeed are in control. While we fail to realise that such actions brought about are function of deeper sea of shadow which lies within and most of the times are not part of the conscious state. Do we do this because we indeed are not fully in control of ourselves?
From time to time one seeks to break their chains of being controlled with drugs or alcohol, to enjoy losing the mind for a while, to let go in the surge of energy when they are full of themselves. Such state can be observed in political rallies marching towards a house of law, against the BOSS MAN; within music festivals, standing amongst thousands of people moving to one music; or being part of a mob. All of which bring a flow of strong emotional energy force of either: joy, happiness, anger, frustration, passion, or fear; and after its gone one is either satisfied or ashamed of their actions. Unsure of what took over but the end result leads to satisfaction or being relaxed. What are we, what makes us do these things. If we know that we dont know, then what do you not know? Who are we?
Is it the struggle between fate and will, which makes us rebel to feel alive?
We stay in delusion of shadows and do not acknowledge the powerful unconscious force which has the strength to take over conscious state.
Under the darkness of this naked night, I see the light,
As I stretch my legs I feel my body relax,
Took me some time to see, but I am not sorry nor should you be.
Will it be now, as I am late?
When I didnt understand, I wanted to possess.
Suffocated myself and you within this shadow, I said I didnt possess
Am I too late?
I ask the stars to bring me your glitter,
dancing wind to bring me that joy,
the moon to show me your face,
the breeze to bring your scent.
But they do none of that and just smile in silence.
I am not angry or upset,
I am in peace and at ease.
Too lazy to write, I am closing my eyes and let my mind fight.
This illusion of time and memory has left me confused; one second I am closer to myself than myself and the next, in a blink of an eye, you steal me millions of light years away…
Everything seems to amaze me, your actions, my reactions, my actions, your reactions… No action and silence, yet full of reaction. All shall fade, but somethings are left to define you, until you wither away into the true essence…
Come as you go into this infinite loop of pleasure, why bother to live if you seek no love. I need no matter, I need no base, as I feed from you and you from me.
Stone I was till the day I was offshore,
Sat alone, proud, strong and arrogant,
Unaware of the realm beyond from which I dwell,
Touched not any sorrow which came my way,
Earthly lava from which you were born,
How can you be soo green and lively?
Ignited this ambition, why did you?…
Why extend the roots of comfort around me?
From each drop of dew, life you put in me,
Penetrated the hardest of my shell,
Weakened me from your naïve love,
To be taken away in a blink of a storm?
The scars you left have no bonds,
Survive that I shall, Incomplete shall I be…
I type as I am aware,
I close my eyes to see,
vision is still blurry,
I need to see.
What do you seek stranger?
Show me yourself.
Need not to see what you look like,
As I am with no reflection yet I am nothing but one.